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Read Jane's Top Tips for a Confidence Boost!
jane@janekeogh.co.uk ~ 07813 847205
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My thoughts and articles

 

It's time to step up and take a reality check.

If you perceive your life to be s**t and you are fed up with it being s**t, then it's time to stop blaming everyone and everything for what's wrong. Take responsibility for yourself. To quote Ghandi: Be the change that you wish to see in the world.

 

The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship of all.

When we realise that the relationship that we’ve been having with ourselves is toxic, we become aware that many of our relationships with other people are mirrored and take on similar patterns. You cannot have a healthy relationship with anyone whilst you harbour a toxic relationship with self.

The belief that you are good enough isn’t something that anyone can give you. It starts by becoming aware of the problem - developing self-awareness. Then we can observe and reframe the relationship by changing our thoughts and behaviour. 

 

I made the choice in December 2016 that I was going to make 2017 a very different year. I have never been so ready to embrace change and knew that nothing would deter me from my objective. I was going to take my tool box and use the tools in a new way. Instead of reaching for them when I needed them, I was going to use them to prevent feeling stress and burnout.

There were also some other tweaks that I had been thinking about implementing for a while but never felt brave enough.

I was curious about how life would be if I decided not to drink for 12 months. Truthfully, the very idea scared me, but honestly my relationship with alcohol wasn't as healthy as I liked to think it was. I typically would only drink at weekends unless I was on holiday or there was a special occasion, but from time to time the weekend extended to Thursday nights. I knew deep down that I was using alcohol as a distraction or avoidance tactic. On top of which I didn't like the effect it had on my mental well-being.

 

People often ask me how I stay so positive all of the time.

My response is this: I am usually positive, but my positivity levels vary, so I work on myself. When I say that I work at it, I don't mean that I try to be positive, I am naturally positive, always have been, even in the most adverse of circumstances. I think I have always intuitively known that being positive is better for my mental health.

JANE’S TOP TIPS FOR A CONFIDENCE BOOST

Stop judging yourself
by what happens to your in life, so you're not basing your confidence on outside events.
Forgive yourself
and others for past mistakes. Harbouring old grudges takes up a lot of time and energy which you could be using in more productive ways.
Learn to think differently
When you fall into self-criticism, notice them and change them to positive thoughts.
Set goals/outcomes
on the basis of what you can realistically achieve, and then work step-by-step to develop your potential. Acknowledge small achievements which take you closer to your end outcome.
Emphasise your strengths
Focus on what you can do rather than what you cannot.
Remember
self-confidence and self-esteem are learnt behaviour, and with practice can be built.